I've been dealing with some issues, friends. As some of you might know, I was born with just half of my right arm. While I try really hard not to let that get in the way of anything I do, it tends to cause problems—daily. Unfortunately, I've let myself get to a point where those problems are getting worse.
It's not that I want to deal with muscle atrophy, aches and pains regularly—I desperately want to be as healthy as I can be. It's that, since starting my own business, I've put myself at the bottom of the list. I keep resolving to make time for myself, but the motivation to change my unhealthy habits simply hasn't been there.
That all changed the other day as I was lying in bed in the middle of the day, essentially unable to move without pain radiating throughout much of my body. You may have seen this Instagram post a few weeks ago and—let me tell you—I'm just now starting to come out on the other side of that literal pain in by back. The spasms and continual pain over the last several weeks have caused me to slow down (and stop completely, in some instances) and reflect on what I'm doing to myself by not making time to improve my physical wellbeing.
And it's time to make a change.
I'm hoping that by being truly honest and open about some of my physical issues in this space, I can hold myself accountable and work my way out of this mess. I hate feeling weak and I miss feeling strong. I hate feeling out of touch with my muscles and tendons and I miss nurturing a body that does what it's meant to do. I used to run marathons, for crying out loud. I played volleyball and trained hard with the best of them in high school. While I realize that was ages ago, my body is capable of so much more than I've given it credit for lately. I am not the person sitting in front of the computer writing this.
I am much, much stronger than she'll ever be.